Letting Go of the Lies That Hold You Back
- Kat Cervantes
- Mar 4
- 3 min read
Most of us carry a lot of silent, persistent beliefs about ourselves—beliefs we rarely question. Sadly, these beliefs and inner chatters shaped how we live. They whisper in the back of our minds, influencing our choices, our confidence, and our relationships.
I am unlovable.
I am only as good as what I achieve.
I am not beautiful enough.
These thoughts may feel like truths, but they are lies—deeply ingrained ones that we’ve unknowingly accepted. And when we believe them, they shape our reality.
Where Do These Lies Come From?
No one is born believing they are unworthy. Somewhere along the way, experiences, words, or disappointments plant these seeds. Maybe a parent, teacher, or friend made a careless remark that stayed with you. Maybe rejection, failure, or comparison convinced you that you weren’t beautiful enough. Over time, those moments solidified into a belief: This is just who I am.
But the problem isn’t just that we believe these lies—the problem is that we build our lives around them. We hold back from opportunities, sabotage relationships, or push ourselves to exhaustion trying to prove we’re worthy.
My Personal Journey with These Lies
For much of my life, I believed I was destined to repeat my parents' story—a broken marriage and the likelihood of never finding a faithful, loving husband. It wasn't just a passing fear; it was something I often heard from people around me as if my future was already written. And the more I heard it, the more I believed it.
That belief shaped everything. It shaped the way I see relationships. It made me doubt love itself. If this was my story, why even hope for something different? That mindset led me into several painful relationships, reinforcing the very fears I carried.
But then something changed. Slowly, I began to understand that I am loved by God—deeply, unconditionally. His truth began to replace the lies I had carried for so long. I realized I am wonderfully made that I am worthy beyond measure.
It wasn't an overnight transformation. It was a process. A slow, intentional shift in how I saw myself and what I believed about my future. But that process changed everything.
And now? I've been married to a wonderful man for nearly 25 years. Next month, we'll celebrate our anniversary—something I once thought was impossible for me. But it turns out the lies I once believed weren't the truth at all.
And you - my friend - can also rewrite your story.
Recognizing the Lies We Believe
One of the first steps to freedom is identifying the false narratives we’ve accepted as truth. Some common ones include:
I am only valuable if I’m successful. → This lie ties our worth to productivity, making rest feel like failure.
I must be perfect to be loved. → This creates an impossible standard and keeps us stuck in shame.
I am too much / not enough. → This lie makes us feel like we must shrink or strive to be accepted.
Now, here’s the most important question: What would change if you didn’t believe these lies anymore?
Replacing Lies with Truth
The best way to uproot a lie is to replace it with truth. If we’ve spent years reinforcing negative beliefs, we need to be intentional about rewriting the script.
Here’s how:
1️⃣ Identify the lie. What is the negative belief that has shaped your thinking? Be honest.
2️⃣ Challenge its validity. Where did this belief come from? Is it actually true? What evidence do you have against it?
3️⃣ Replace it with truth. Find a new, life-giving truth to hold onto. This can be a Bible verse, a personal affirmation, or a reminder of who you are in God’s eyes.
For example:
🚫 I am unlovable. → ✅ I am loved with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3).
Journaling Prompt: Rewriting Your Story
What self-limiting beliefs have shaped your life?
How can you replace them with truth?
Write them down. Then, next to each lie, replace it with a truth that aligns with who you really are.
Final Thought: You Are More Than the Lies You’ve Believed
What you believe about yourself matters. The lies that have held you back don’t have to define you. Today, choose to step into the truth—because you are already worthy, already loved, and beautiful in God's eyes.
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